Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Do men get a raw deal?

Okay, so I know I'm going to take some heat for this post, but truth be told, most men don't have the spine to say what they've been thinking forever - men get a raw deal when it comes to engagement. Now I should say that I've shared my thoughts with my girlfriend and she hasn't acknowledged my comments as holding any water, but at the same time, hasn't really refuted them. So the deal is this; two folks hang out for a while and then a guy goes and spends a ton of money on a piece of jewelry to give said woman. Man has to make an ass out of himself in the proposal process while the woman gets "a girl's best friend." Understanding that with marriage, the man gets the honor of having the woman and vice versa, I'm confused why the man doesn't get a multi-thousand dollar gift when getting engaged.

Truth be told, I'm really only half-kidding as I am quite the traditionalist, but I told some people I was going to post this several months ago and never did it. I would, however, love to hear some people's thoughts on the subject!


rel=nofollowBec said...

Haha, interesting post! I do kinda agree with you! I'm 27 and have been with my partner for 5.5 years, but we're not engaged. Not sure if it will ever happen. Can't imagine him wanting to spend thousands on a ring for me....we'll see though, maybe one day!

rel=nofollowJules said...
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rel=nofollowJerry Graffam said...

What cause would that be? Your arguement is quite flawed. You make it sound like you and your parents share a bank account... Guys don't care about the wedding. Lay off the Chards!

rel=nofollowMelissa said...

The amount that a man spends on the engagement ring is not, in my opinion, a representation of his devotion.

I'm currently engaged and have a beautiful ring that represents my fiances wallet not love.

rel=nofollowLarry said...

I've been married three times Yes I do feel the man gets the real shaft especially when it comes to divorce.
But now that I've become a bit wiser, I'd never get married again ever. I feel I do better just being alone....Really who needs the crap that goes along with marriage now days..

rel=nofollowseventorches said...

The whole diamond-solitaire thing is a marketing conspiracy by De Beers, really. When we got engaged, I was adamant that I did NOT want any big expensive flashy diamond. They aren't my style, and I really don't care for them. (The ring he gave me has a peridot as the main stone, and a tiny diamond. It cost less than $500 and is the most precious thing I own.) When I tell people "I didn't want a big diamond" a lot of the time they'll call me a liar--especially the men. I guess those are guys who have been taught that money=love, and I think it's a shame. Oddly enough, most of those guys have unhappy relationships.

As far as guys not receiving engagement presents, in some circles it is correct for the girl to give a valuable present to her intended, such as a watch, a leather jacket, cufflinks if you're that type of guy...whatever.

Ultimately, a gold ring, a diamond, or a Ferrari is just a thing, and to me, what's important is that we love each other and want to be each other's family. You don't "need" a fancy engagement ring (although I've heard of some women being told if he didn't get them a diamond then they weren't really engaged! WTF?) You don't even "need" a wedding band. You don't even need a wedding! In Oregon you need two witnesses, an officiant, and $60. The commercialization of weddings is a sad state of affairs.